September 30 "your first patient"

Today was very emotionally heavy day.



I guess I thought about it, but it didn't really dawn on me until I started talking to my mum about the day.

just thinking about it still puts tears in my eyes.





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Our first patients are people who generously donated their body for education purposes.
Deep inside the university in a newly renovated lab lies ~60 bodies.
Embalmed and ready to go.
Faces, hands and feet were covered because they are all very defining features of 'human'. It brings realism to them.


Before we went to the lab, the instructor said we would get hungry so eat a big meal before the lab and after. Actually smells of formaldehyde and fixing solutions are too strong so it turns off your appetite. You can literally taste the air, of its bitter taste and you know its toxic. Small droplets floating in air are probably fixing tiny portion of proteins in your body.
He was right, you become so hungry.





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There's a special program where medical students can get a better perception of being a patient with chronic illness. And I will be participating in that program as well.
My partner and I were paired with an adorable sweet boy.
We are still trying to understand what happened to him.
It seemed to me, just a really bad combination of congenital as well as medical error resulted him being the way he is.
His prognosis is an open question.

While talking to the parents, I found out that my partner has MS (Multiple Sclerosis).
Whenever I hear about MS I think about myelin sheath because it is a demylienating condition leading to no sensation and paralysis.
The level of severity may differ but I always think about a woman in a wheel chair at SPU who shared her story with me at 7am in the morning at the University Hospital on a cold night.





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So young.. my partner is 7 years younger than I am. younger than my little sister.
To know about the pending condition, and still pursuing this very consuming career. I could only show my admiration towards him. Adoration and admiration both.








I still feel like crying.